Dichotomy, Thy Name Is

In my future lies a wedding, and I am beyond words excited and happily looking forward to it. That same future looms with uncertainty, however, as certain things happening within my sphere of friends and family leaves me not knowing who will be in attendance.

I’m selfish. I want everyone to be there. I want to share in the joy I’ve found and pass on the warmth and light of love that has extended my family. I don’t want any more guests who will be watching from on high than I already have. It is only 6 months away, a paltry space of time between here and there.

But within the day anything can change, and I so it is with this that I set my runes upon the Tree. Asking my Ancestors, my Dragons, and my Gods to either bring me peace of mind, strength, comfort or all of the above.

The Spread:

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My memory is poor, and my heart heavy, so while I Think I recognize most of these and can infer a meaning from them, I’m loathe to trust myself this morning.

Three at the bottom support me, while I sit in the middle of my tree, and the three at the top guide me. I’ll lay these out starting in the middle (Wunjo) and then going left to right along the bottom (Uruz, Berkano, and Ansuz) before going left to right along the top (Ehwaz, Elhaz, Mannaz).

Word for Word :
Wunjo – Joy. Often it is a rune that will shed positive light on surrounding runes. Joy in one’s own work, good news, friendship, harmony. (Wunjo always brings to my mind people gathered and dancing, drinking merrily and laughing honestly. Ahh, hahaha kind of like a wedding, I suppose!)

Uruz – Ox (Aurochs). Uruz is the manifestation of movement. It gets energy flowing, it pushes things forward – it’s a neutral rune with impact on those surrounding it but little directly from it. That said, it is a rune of strength – it will either shove you along bodily or give you the will to plow ahead.

Berkano – Birch tree. Significant life passages beckon Berkano. It indicates birth and becoming, rootedness, the feminine. It’s a rune drawn on the foreheads of babes to protect them. It is a rune that weaves mysteries within those around it so true meanings show when we need them (not necessarily when we want them).

Ansuz – God, mouth. Odin’s wisdom. Spiritual power as differentiated from physical. Often indicates mental or creative activity in general and verbal in particular; wisdom –  the need for it.

Ehwaz – Extending energy. The holy horse that links man and gods. Indicates movement either physical or spiritual, or a rise in capacity for either through cooperation with another. It may also indicate the possibility or need to change a situation through changing one’s relationship with it.

Elhaz – Elk. Most often in a drawing it means Protection for the querent. Willing sacrifice – a lesser for a greater good. The querent will be protected, or at the least warned. A word of advice though, while the sharp tines of the Elk rune offer protection, if you grab on without care or concern they can just as easily pierce and cut.

Mannaz – Man. Depending on where it is located in a reading it can indicate either the positive or negative aspects of the human condition. It raises questions of identity and function – what does it mean to be human? How do you fulfill that, especially in regards to society? It can also indicate needing to draw on the power that is collectively humanity for creative solutions to an issue.

I Sentence You:
Wunjo is the rune that is me, in this drawing, and perhaps in quite a few others. Despite struggling with depression and anxiety (to be extremely blunt, I am describe myself most comfortably as “I’m happy, I just hate myself.”) I do legitimately feel happy more than not. To be alive is a pleasure and a gift, even in the face of loss and hardships. Each day provides a chance to do something new, learn something, become better at a thing – a chance to help someone.

Supporting that rune from below are Uruz, Berkano and Ansuz. Maybe it’s just me, but Ansuz seems to show up a lot in my rune casts. These runes give me a distinct visual impression of myself sitting upon a mighty and well armored/adorned ox. The Last Unicorn kind of size of Ox – MASSIVE. Bells with Berkano carved on them hang from the Ox and chime lazily as we travel – a soft warning toll, not something to draw attention. Astride Ox and Bell is Odin himself. A passionate fiery teacher with no patience and nary a moment to spare. He’s as like to upend the Ox and force me to walk on my own as he is to continue imparting wisdom.

Supporting from above are Ehwaz, Elhaz, and Mannaz. Over this oddly massive Ox and his companions there is a halo – larger than the ox by far and high in the sky, the tines of Elhaz stretching out from it protectively. Extended by Ehwaz the light of both shine down on the travelers, strengthening their bonds. Mannaz is there too, not – I think – as a question of identity or function, but as a reference to the aspects of human nature itself. The dichotomy of Happy Self Loathing mingling in through the scene.

Paragraphically:
I may have waxed poetically above, but when an image strikes you I say roll with it.

I’m left with a profound feeling that Berkano alone has decided there are details that will remain mysterious to me for now. There’s no indication to arm myself against sorrow, and no assurances that things will be fine either.

What there is, in my heart of hearts I can feel it – is the not so gentle reminder that I am protected, loved, and supported. No matter how I may feel about myself I will not be left without protection, without guidance, etc. I feel tiny and insignificant upon the large able back of massive Uruz, but I feel safe. I feel as though these runes, and this message, say to me that whatever may come to pass – it will be okay. Uruz will carry me if I cannot walk, and Odin will speak to me even if the words bite, but perhaps most importantly-

What keeps me going are my friends and family, whose very will to see me happy is reflected in the three runes above Wunjo.

~Quin

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