Stepping Up

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So this morning I began my routine of shuffling and drawing. I only made it to one deck. I turned the card and stared at the art for a good long minute and when I reached out for the second deck – my eyes still glued on the first – I hesitated.

As such, I decided not to draw from the other decks this morning, leaving today as a truly Single Card Draw day. I think part of it was I thought for sure I’d draw something dreary today – the Tower, ten of swords, etc. A lot of concerns, fears, and unshakable sorrows have been hanging over my head – none of it for myself directly. Directly, I’m doing pretty good – but I feel pretty heavy with the burden of worry for my people.

Not that I can do anything about any of it except be there for everyone, still – I digress, let us be off onto today’s card, shall we?


Hitting the Books:

Mystical Manga – The Chariot: It is time to take control and move ahead. Nothing is going to happen unless someone takes action. Perfectionism isn’t required – simply doing something will suffice.

Gut Check:
There’s a sense of “Get off your ass and stop worrying” lingering on the edges of this card, but what really kicks me in the gut on this one is the unshakable sense that it’s telling me to work. Do the things I want to do, dive into the projects that feel like a mountain – too much to complete in the time I have available to me. To stride ahead and not be afraid.

And all this comes from the fact that the face of the person in the Chariot looks like how I feel. She’s straight shouldered, standing tall – she’s leading those horses through town and she’s built up the strength of character and will to do so. It’s new to her, being in a position that’s so high up, but she’s earned it. — AND Despite all that there’s a flicker of worry on her face. The neutral expression – almost bored – to me it has a look of worry, a sliver of panic.

This is all so new, and I Just Got Here – What am I doing? The answer is, keeping it together, keeping it under control. Maybe not flawlessly, but well enough to be worthy of the praises being received (the petals cascading down).

Ménage à Maybe:
With no other cards drawn, there’s definitely not some over-arching concept to be pulled in from this draw. However, I did want to point out that in the Mystical Manga deck the major arcana represent the Journey of the Fool. So the Chariot is the Fool having stepped into the world after having been taught lessons by the preceding cards.

The Chariot is putting theory to practice within the journey of the Fool. Since no college lecture survives contact with the real world, there is courage and bravery in the Chariot for even Taking that first step. There’s confidence in the knowledge gained, but also concern regarding that inevitable first misstep.

I’m going to be 37 this year. I’ve been at my current job/position for almost 1.5 years. It’s like being reborn, it’s hard to describe. I’ve never done anything like it before – all of my life was leading up to shoving me out of the gates and into this chariot. For 6 months I was terrified I’d thrown myself into water that was too deep. My grip is far more sure now, and I happily take on the extra things thrown at me.

The chariot I’m stepping into lately is one I used to get near when I was younger. I’d set the horses, put the canopy up, and donned the armor, but I could never quite step into the chariot itself. Now’s a good time though, for all of it. I kept telling myself it was too much, but fuck that – let’s do this.

Y’all Come Back Now:

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